There are hundreds of ways to look at relationships. Every psychologist, priest, and guru has a different point of view. Most married couples have their opinions too. So what follows is just one more point of view. My number one rule for happiness and getting along with others is “Plow with the horses you have.” Work with what you have in other words. There may be lots of fish in the sea, but each will have its strengths and weaknesses. Constantly catching, trying out, and returning will result in frustration. Work with what you have and remember “it takes two to tango” which is my number 2 rule for relationsips. Consider the role you are playing. Your actions are not in a vacum, they cause others to react in certain ways. In fact, it has been said that people treat us the way we ask them to. We ask them by responding to their actions. We a child tantrums and is given what s/he wants the child learns tantrum = reward.
Play
Play defies easy definition, write Vaughan and Brown, founder of the National Institute for Play. Sliding down a mountain in sub-zero temperatures while strapped to two thin planks thrills some but petrifies others. But, in general, play is voluntary and flexible. Most important, it is seemingly purposeless.
Do something purposeless today. Go ahead I dare you.
Responsibility
It is a well known fact that a well-disciplined person can choose his/her emotional state at any give time. Therefore it must also be true that it is our responsibility to always choose the best emotional state every time.
Do it today
Why do we often put off the things we know we really need to do? Sometimes it’s a lack of discipline or will. Sometimes we just really don’t want to do it. These things we want to want to do. That is second level desire. The problem is when we don’t want to do them, first level. In the best cases our first level and second level desires align. So we want to do what we want to want to do. We want to do what it takes to become the person we want to be.
lesson learned
For the foreseeable future my blog updates will focus on lessons learned. I am practicing the art of reflection by determining what lesson the day taught me. Assumption is, life is full of lessons and the act of life long learning includes reflecting on daily events and finding the lesson of the day.
Today’s lesson was a reinforcement of a prior post on discipline. I took advantage of several otherwise wasted moments of time to write. In these few moments, two psycho-educational report were started. I managed to complete 3/4 of each report. It feels really good getting these reports started. Make the most of each moment.
Money and happiness
Yes, money makes us happy. It is necessary for survival and living is a happier state then dying. The problem is happiness is not money. Happiness is not pursued either, one often needs to stop and let happiness catch up. You see, most run from happiness believing they are running toward it. Truth is happiness will catch up when we stop of a while. Think about it.
focus is not denial
To say one must focus on the good things in life is not to say one must deny all that is bad. Nor ignor the wrong and bury one’s head in the sand. Focusing on the good is taking what is right and making the world a better place. For example, college requires study, endless hours of lecture, writing papers and exams. It provides a breath of knowledge and an oppertunitiy for one to become cognitively engaged in a subject. You see, if a college class is boring, it is the student’s fault for not becoming more engaged. The secret to happiness and mental health is cognitive engagement, not cognitive activity. One can be cognitive active and not care about the subject. One cannot be cognitive engaged without being invested. Get invested by focusing on the positive aspects; by finding the relevant parts and integrating them immediately into your life.
